Local author, Texas A&M Lecturer, and Mercy Project founder Chris Field took “viral ice cream review,” a viral content category largely created by his pioneering prose, to a whole ‘nother level last Christmas with his hilarious review of Blue Bell Ice Cream‘s Christmas Cookies ice cream:
Here is my independent review of Blue Bell Ice Cream‘s Christmas Cookies ice cream which was rolled out this week as a seasonal special. Please note: I am in no way affiliated with Blue Bell other than being a Texan that eats (a lot of) their ice cream.
Christmas Cookies ice cream is described by Blue Bell as being “Sugar Cookie Flavored Ice Cream with Chocolate Chip, Snickerdoodle, and Sugar Cookies, Red Sprinkles and a Green Icing Swirl.” What Blue Bell should have said was “if you love baby Jesus, Santa Claus, puppies wearing Santa hats, or the sound of children laughing on Christmas morning–you need this ice cream in your life.” It’s just that good.
Let’s start with the sugar cookie flavored ice cream. Are you kidding me? We could hard stop here and still have a very Merry Christmas. Starting with sugar cookie flavored ice cream is like finding the perfect Christmas tree. You don’t even need to add ornaments. You can. But you don’t have to. But Blue Bell sure did. Hallelujah, they sure did.
The proverbial ornaments here are the bits of chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and sugar cookies in every bite. Every. Bite. In other words, every bite of this ice cream is the hark that made the herald angels sing. Biting into it feels like the moment when Clark Griswold finally gets all 25,000 of the Christmas lights on his house to come on. And we’re not even done yet.
The red sprinkles are honestly a little forgettable, but the green icing swirl is the star on top of the tree. It is the giant handmade bow on the most beautifully wrapped gift. Imagine a jolly grandmother, with an apron covered in flour, who smiles and hums jingle bells and makes homemade icing all day. This is what Christmas tastes like.
Buddy the Elf is probably involved somehow in making this flavor. Kevin McAllister eats this when he’s not fending off bad guys. And the only thing the Dad in the Christmas Story likes more than his leg lamp is a big bowl of this next to the fire.
I will not be surprised if Santa’s note back to the kids this year is to ask for a bowl of this next time he comes down the chimney.
This ice cream is probably why Rudolph was running. And mouths full of this may have been the reason the night was silent. And while I can’t say for sure that a half gallon of this was one of the gifts the wise men brought to the stable that night–I also can’t say for sure that it was not.
So get on over to your local freezer section and grab a half gallon or two to try for yourself. Because Christmas Cookies just came to town.
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Wow, thanks for all the love and shares. I’ve written two other Blue Bell reviews you might enjoy also.
I also run a non-profit helping rescue kids from slavery. Check us out at Mercy Project.